Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
