It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
