Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
