im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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