just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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