'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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