I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
