Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
