So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
