Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
