he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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