8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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