Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
