he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
