i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
