Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My feet surprised me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
