absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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