went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
apparently the secret to your success is patron
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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