Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
