You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
