This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
