oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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