I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
