i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He had one of those small greek statue penises
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
