so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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