Define "chronic" masturbator.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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