So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
