i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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