The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
