The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
