but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
