Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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