I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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