Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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