mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
