Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
God I need to hump something, right now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
