Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
