I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
