why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
