So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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