hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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