I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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