I wannas sexs uuuuu
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
