It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
