The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
