ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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