I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
