my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
