Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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