drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
